Unbelievable! I'm not dead!

This is my first blog post here and let me tell you right away, first impression, I hate this italics script going on here. What is this? A menu at a vaguely European-style restaurant? No! This is a blog, on a website I made, because it's a PANDEMIC and I need A JOB, because I have a cat, and an apartment, and have to use an inhaler all the time and lemme tell you those suckers are pricey.

I know I'm meant to be "using" this "time" to improve myself. I'm supposed to have a hobby or be perfecting some skill, or have completed the second draft of my screenplay or whatever. I have achieved none of those things. My time in media accessibility has ended, I made one zine, and every ounce of my energy is currently devoted to giving my cat eye drops. Swear to you, hand over my heart, she screamed "no!" last time I gave her drops. That's, like, textbook unexceptional.

Why am I freelancing? Well, first of all, who the hell is hiring full time contract work right now? That's right, only Amazon. So here I am, refusing to work at Amazon, flinging myself at anyone and everyone who dares to say out loud the words "copywriter," "social media manager," or god forbid "script doctor." I sit there with my phone open, eyes glazed, scrolling through Indeed, LinkedIn, and Glassdoor. I send sweaty texts to my still-employed friends begging them to stare into the eyes of their employers and read the vibe to determine whether or not I have a shot of getting any form of payment that will allow me to stay alive. All this while New Girl plays uninterrupted and barely acknowledged because I need to get my money's worth out of my Netflix subscription.

Well, here we are. You, reading this fancy font blog, and me, clinging to the cliff's edge of the entertainment industry by my fingernails, typing out blogs in fancy font that I h a t e. Okay, love you, bye!